There are many things I'm thankful for: I have a job My family is healthy I have great friends I have a new place I'm going to move into I'm starting to allow myself to open up to the idea of a real relationship. My awesome little brother My KU Jayhawks My awesome stories
...and Turkey Bowl X
And I'm most thankful that I'm so happy and willing to experience new things and people everyday. Life is good right now.
You said we're moving too fast and you're just having fun, but when you awaken I've mistaken your eyes for the sun. You stab me to stop your own bleeding pain, please pull the knife so we can push it again.
Please stay with me and I'll promise you gold, I lied again are you feeling sold? Leave me now we have nothing more to say, she hurts me because she's on my thoughts every damn day.
She's too young to know what I can be, this thing that we have is killing me. I'll push you away and turn feelings to stone, I was happier when I was colder and alone.
Get outta my head you beautiful girl, I've opened your shell and now I want your pearl. Get outta my mind you wonderful thing, who asked you to make my deaf heart sing?
Who asked you to pretty up my house of sorrow, you leave me alive and alone in the leaves of tomorrow. I was a better man when I was easier to hate, fuck you all and I curse fate.
The snow is here and ready to fall, for many women nesting is their call. Thank you for letting me see, all the amazing love that's still inside me.
Mmmm whatcha say, Mmm that you only meant well? well of course you did Mmmm whatcha say, Mmmm that it's all for the best? Of course it is Mmmm whatcha say? Mmmm that it's just what we need you decided this whatcha say? Mmmm what did you say?
When you walk into my new place think... Sweet green grapes as you're entertained in the living room. Clean your palette with a fine merlot as you paint wonderful things. Lastly, as you move into the chocolate covered bedroom think of how sweet it's going to be.
A beautiful girl woke up in my arms one morning not too long ago. She peered over to my bookshelf and read aloud one of the book's titles that was sitting on the middle shelf. She didn't know it but it was one of the most important books on my bookshelf. She said in a curious voice, "Lonesome Cities". I sighed a deep breath and whispered, "yeah". I proceeded to look into the ceiling remembering all those emotions that came with those words. The book of poems by Rod Mckuen was given to me by my wizened, old, navy grandfather. He had me read it when I was young and I could only understand a part of what the message was. He gave it to me again this last April and told me to read it with open eyes. I understand now. I'm on a journey of self discovery but now my journey needs to start taking a different path. I need to find that 'city' that has enough room for me and feels like home so I never have to be lonely again. I've gotten tired of traveling through these cities only to be there for one night and then moving on. I've got my stories. I've had my fun. Lets try living somewhere now. Here is the last page of the book.
There's a few more lonesome cities that I'd like to see while the wine of wandering is still inside of me.
There's a few more pretty women that I'd like to know, a bridge or two I'd like to cross, a few more oats to sow.
Maybe when I've done it all, seen all there is to see, I'll find out I still cannot run away from me.
But as long as trains keep running' a restless man I'll be, and there're a few more lonesome cities that I've yet to see.
I'm never drinking wine again... blegh. I'm not even a big fan but I definitely don't know how much is too much when it comes to wine. I'm glad I was smart enough to get a cab and I'm glad I feel fine in the morning and am fine at work. However, I lost my wallet from the cab to my bed and I can't find it anywhere. bummer. I'm not a big fan of alcohol period but wine has always been my evil nemesis. Fuck Beaujolais Nouveau.
This will be the first time I've ever lived alone and I'm excited. I've already been picking out paint swatches and everything. Also, I said to myself... "Self, I have a dining room area but I've always hated dining room tables." So instead of a dining room, I'm now going to have an painting room! It's my place after all, right? It's approximately 800 square feet. New hardwoods, new kitchen, new bathroom and very nice. And it's only $475 a month! That means I can easily save for a down payment on a really cool place later on, which is my goal. Here are some pics.
This is a fantastic album. I was talking to a friend and she mentioned how much she liked this song. I agreed. I will also take credit for introducing this album to her. Why? because I fucking know what I'm talking about!
I'm lost in my own imagination right now. I'm off daydreaming of adventures and fantasies in my mind. I have fables and myths to tell you. In time they will sail across the illuminated pixels of this screen. The work day is merely a facade for a dreamer that dreams his life in other times and sits still, looking into a monitor. The monitor is a mirror of our souls as it collects or discards our minutes of life. Our eyes only see half of what they used to. Why? We leave a portion of our memories embedded on these deceptive screens.
How I wish I were on a ship right now sailing in a warm breeze heading to anywhere that might look like a beautiful painting. Like the ones I see at art fairs. Instead, I fall into a sleep so that I may dream of it. What is this? When I dream lately I smell a sweet smell aboard this ship. I smile.
Click on these songs. Listen. What do you see, smell, hear in your mind. Do you feel it?
Apparently this artists music is hard to find online for previewing so this is the best i can do. However, you can purchase on itunes.
Here it is... another exciting Tuesday! I looked at some apartments today and i fell in love with one in particular. I'm taking my little brother from 'Big Brothers Big Sisters' to go see Madagascar 2. He deserves it because I just found out from his mom that he received 7 A's and 5 B's! What a smart guy. Makes me wonder how many classes he's taking though? After that it's another Tuesday Boozeday starting at 9 at re:Verse on the Plaza. I'm hoping we get a good crowd and I'd like to see you swing by there sometime.
How is this not the greatest love song in the world? Oh wait... it is. I'll even post the lyrics. Enjoy everyone and if you have someone you can wake up to in the morning... smile, laugh, hug, kiss and tell them good morning. It is the greatest feeling in the world.
Good morning, Good morning love, It's my favorite love song, I waited all night long,
Before you get into the shower, Before you worry about your hair, Baby give me one more hour, I want you to stay right there, I dont wanna lose a moment, I dont wanna miss a kiss, If i could plan the perfect day, love, Then i would start it just like this,
Good morning, Good morning love, It's my favorite love song, I waited all night long, For morning, Good morning love Before we start the day dear, Im whispering in your ear, Good morning.
Now baby how can i convince you, I'll make it so you can't resist, Whatever else you have to do now, It can't be half as good as this, I'll chase you underneath the sheets, love, And i won't let you get away, The day won't be complete, love, Unless we get a chance to say,
Good morning, Good morning love, It's my favorite love song, I waited all night long, For morning, Good morning love Before we start the day dear, Im whispering in your ear, Good morning.
Open your eyes, See my sunrise, I feel you're skin, So warm inside, Day breaks so sweet, When you're next to me, So stay every night, So each morning will be,
Good morning, Good morning love, It's my favorite love song, I waited all night long, For morning, Good morning love Before we start the day dear, Im whispering in your ear, Good morning.
Let's get lost together, I will smile forever, Was morning
I give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to music. Why? because I like everything. My itunes could be playing anything from Coldplay to Brittany Spears to 2pac to Korn to Led Zepplin. I love it all—except for Jesse's girl by that Rick guy. I have let others poke fun at my playlists and i laugh with them and shrug it off. Music can tell you a lot about someone's personality and I hope mine shows the willingness for diversity and expression. However, I will not let anyone make fun of John Legend. Perhaps one of the most talented artists of our time he transcends pop, hip hop and jazz. He is the ultimate musician. John, having just released his third album just keeps evolving. I pity you if you don't like him and that is the only time I'll make that statement because for the most part your music is whatever it needs to be for you.
I've been really busy so I haven't had very many chances to update my blog. I've made many new friends and some have blossomed into close relationships and some haven't. I'm pretty sure that I told myself I was ready to jump into a relationship early after my divorce but now I realize I didn't need that. I have my moments of loneliness but for the most part I've felt pretty good being on my own. The best is for the first time in my life I only have to look out for myself. I don't have to constantly worry about another person. While this may sound selfish I believe it's an important step to knowing who you really are. For pretty much all my adult life my identity wasn't just me. It was me and my girlfriend or me and my fiancé or me and my wife. That can really lead to not understanding ones self and achieving happiness.
I love to go out but lately I've started to enjoy doing other things. I'm painting and writing. I'm reading some new books and just really trying to breathe right now. Life is a journey and I feel like I'm just starting mine. I've pushed away potential relationships because I felt like I could've fallen in love. Instead, I pursued other relationships I knew wouldn't work. My brain was definitely trying to tell me something. It was telling me that I didn't need that right now. My brain was telling me to just enjoy things the way they are. It's funny but now I'm starting to figure out what I want. Now I just have fun without any pressure because I'm happy no matter what. I'm going to do big things and it's going to be phenomenal.
I recently had a string of financial bad luck but there are so many worse things out there. I just wish more people around me could be positive. I wish people were happier. I just wish sometimes people could see everything through my eyes and they'd realize just how amazing everything is. Maybe... one day. Go Obama!
Saturday night I ended up playing an awesome game of Balderdash. Basically there are several categories such as dates, peoples names, movie titles and words. When you get a date, name etc... you write down a creative or funny answer to what or who it might be and then people guess. I absolutely loved one of the written answers given by a guy we were playing with and it went like this...
Category: Movie Title
Beginning of the End -
Best buddies Jim & Fred dress up in a two man horse costume for a vaudevillian act. One night Fred "the head" stops suddenly creating a serious issue for both men.
Brilliant!!! I voted for it!
Actual movie premise "Reporter, military officer and scientist discover the complete destruction of a small town was caused by giant grasshoppers, accidently enlarged by the scientist's experimenting with radioactive material at a nearby agricultural research project."
I'm also currently watching an english six episode TV show called "Piece of Cake". A fantastic show about English Spitfire pilots during WWII. The show premiered in 1988 and wasn't popular amongst the masses due to the realistic nature of the characters. The men are all conflicted and some of the pilots are just assholes. It wasn't popular but I find the show fantastic.
