I've been really busy so I haven't had very many chances to update my blog. I've made many new friends and some have blossomed into close relationships and some haven't. I'm pretty sure that I told myself I was ready to jump into a relationship early after my divorce but now I realize I didn't need that. I have my moments of loneliness but for the most part I've felt pretty good being on my own. The best is for the first time in my life I only have to look out for myself. I don't have to constantly worry about another person. While this may sound selfish I believe it's an important step to knowing who you really are. For pretty much all my adult life my identity wasn't just me. It was me and my girlfriend or me and my fiancé or me and my wife. That can really lead to not understanding ones self and achieving happiness.
I love to go out but lately I've started to enjoy doing other things. I'm painting and writing. I'm reading some new books and just really trying to breathe right now. Life is a journey and I feel like I'm just starting mine. I've pushed away potential relationships because I felt like I could've fallen in love. Instead, I pursued other relationships I knew wouldn't work. My brain was definitely trying to tell me something. It was telling me that I didn't need that right now. My brain was telling me to just enjoy things the way they are. It's funny but now I'm starting to figure out what I want. Now I just have fun without any pressure because I'm happy no matter what. I'm going to do big things and it's going to be phenomenal.
I recently had a string of financial bad luck but there are so many worse things out there. I just wish more people around me could be positive. I wish people were happier. I just wish sometimes people could see everything through my eyes and they'd realize just how amazing everything is. Maybe... one day. Go Obama!
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