Tony's Kansas City & We're All Just Living In It

Props to one of the best bloggers in K.C.

Check him out.

I'm In Trouble Now

So I just finished off a bottle a wine all by myself and I feel like blogging. This could spell disaster but then again I don't care what other people think. hmmmmm... what should I discuss while I'm in this intoxicated state? I know! How about the subject of the "One Night Stand"? I can already tell that several of my readers are on the edge of their seat about this one. Good.

There are three kinds of people when it come to the one night stand. The three are; those that have, those that will at some point have, and lastly those that won't have. All three are acceptable. I'm in the first category. Now before you go judging me I need to explain that it only happened once and I didn't enjoy it like I thought I would. There's definitely a certain amount fantasy that is ingrained in most males when it comes to the ultimate of machismo acts. Well guess what... it's not the fucking reality. The reality of the situation, at least for me was one of extreme uncomfortableness. I didn't enjoy having sex with a woman I was not passionate about, nor could we please each other because it takes awhile to figure each other out intimately. The next morning is a whole other story too. We both new each other in ways that one should not know unless emotionally involved.

Wow. This is getting harder to write about even when drunk.

So... it started when I was in a bar with some buddies and some girls decided to join us for darts. One girl was into me and made it very clear. We moved from one bar game to the next, buying each other shots at each stop. My friends left and so did I at the request of the girl eyeing me. We went to a club of her choosing where we proceeded to get affectionate. We then decided to go back to my place. I was uncomfortable pulling out the protection but it was necessary. It was sex at its most basic. No feelings, just urges. It just wasn't the same as if you're passionate about the other person. I took her home the next morning and we've never seen each other since. She wasn't looking for anything more and neither was I. I've since had several offers for the same experience but I declined... it's just not me, I'm not a notch on the belt kinda guy. I'm sweet which apparently is a turn off to some women.

I don't regret the experience because it helps me define who I am. I hope my readers better understand me from this post and can learn from me. We all deserve love and I'm willing to push sex aside until it's right in order to be happy. I think to many people rush into sex these days and it can be destructive. I would like to know what my readers think and you can comment as anonymous which is cool.

Strange Fruit

Nina Simone is one of my favorite singers. I recommend you listen and learn more about her. I traveled to South East Missouri over Memorial Day. Where I go to visit my grandparents isn't but thirty or so miles from the Arkansas border. I saw imagery and heard words that brought this song to mind. If you've never heard "Strange Fruit" be prepared to swallow your thoughts because this is a very powerful song. This song and video's imagery can be disturbing—so fair warning. I do tear up every time because I just can't believe humans could have ever treated each other this way. Listen to the lyrics as the story plays out about how the fruit hanging from the trees turns out not to be fruit at all.



Nina Simone version:

Seven trees
Bearin strange fruit
Blood on the leaves
And blood at the roots
Black bodies
Swinging in the southern breeze
Strange fruit hangin
From the poplar trees
Pastoral scene
Of the gallant south
Them big bulging eyes
And the twisted mouth
Scent of magnolia
Clean and fresh
Then the sudden smell
Of burnin flesh
Here is a fruit
For the crows to pluck
For the rain to gather
For the wind to suck
For the sun to rot
For the leaves to drop
Here is
Strange and bitter crop

Fragile

She's a risk my heart needs to take.
Even an ounce of her love...
Would be worth any heartbreak.

I'm more than your fragile egg?
Smother me in passions red fire...
And for your soft kiss I'll beg.

I'm at the cliff, flight or fall?
See my beauty from within...
Wound me now and you wound us all.

for me, by me, to me.

Top 5 Favorite Female Characters

Here is my top 5 favorite T.V. and Movie female characters that I've crushed on. This is based on personality of the character as well as beauty.

5. Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn) from both Roman Holiday or Breakfast at Tiffany's: Her personality could make anyone smile and laugh and fall in love with her.




















4. Jean Grey aka phoenix (Famke Janssen) X-men movies: Hello! Comic book geek, seriously though her personality matched with her beauty plus her very sexy powers make for a hell of a character.




















3. Madolyn (Vera Farmiga) The Departed: She's a flawed psychologist that wants to fix men. I'll be your troubled one.




















2. Dharma (Jenna Elfman) from Dharma & Greg: That's my personality in a nutshell, I can only stay mad for two seconds. I'm weird like that.




















1. Yvaine (Claire Danes) from the movie Stardust: Again, I'm a hopeless romantic but that's why I'm such a catch... or so my mom says.



















Claire Danes is my number 1 right now in just about every category. Nobody has ever matched her personality on screen as far as I'm concerned. I crushed on her in My So Called Life, Romeo and Juliet, Shopgirl, The Family Stone, and many others. It's subjective but that's how I roll.

Some Random Thoughts About Where I Am Right Now

I had such a long weekend with a lot of fun and some new experiences. The fun happened and the new experiences were good life lessons. I tested the waters of trying to be someone I'm not and all it did was make me feel uncomfortable. I'll bounce back like I always do, stronger, better and with more of a definition around who I am.

Lately, girls have been really sexually aggressive and I've had to watch them and myself. Mistakes can happen if you let them. I've found a real comfortable place within my own soul right now. I'm enjoying just experiencing new things. I'm not looking for a long term anything or to be tied down with anything or anyone. That doesn't mean I don't want a long term relationship or to be tied down to a city. I'm just not going to seek them out right now. I'll let those things come to me. I've got plenty of time and I believe I deserve happiness. I'm happy right now just going out with friends and having a good time. I like the casual dating thing because I like spending time with any and everyone. It took a little while to get back on my feet with the dating thing again but that's turned around for me. It's odd but it seems the less I try the more things happen for me.

Oh Well, What Can You Do

This morning was a string of minor inconveniences. I went to the gym and worked out, as i was getting ready I realized I was missing half the stuff I needed to get ready. I decided to head back home and finish getting ready there which would make me late for work but I'm sure people around the office would like it if i brushed my teeth. On my way back home i get a speeding ticket... Yes! Off to an even better start. As soon as i walk into the front door I step into cat puke... Fucking awesome! I clean my shoes and finish getting ready. I'm just about to walk into the office at the top of the stairs when i realized I left my wallet out in my car... hells yeah best morning ever! I'm now sitting thinking the morning couldn't get worse when right now Paco is turning on all the lights over us. Those fluorescent bulbs will cause any creative to go crazy. Oh well, what can you do?