Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Book Signing With David Sedaris That Never Happened

Mr. Nick Davis and I arrived to the book signing in absolute awe of the line that had formed for it. Rainy Day books was no match for the five hundred or so tickets sold. We parked behind a medical facility in hopes that we wouldn't get towed. The fear was written across our faces as we looked back at the car a dozen or so times as we walked to the book store. We stood out in the parking lot in the massive line before they dispersed the casual signing line. Cartons of lemonade were perched on tables next to plastic cups filled with the glucose rich syrup. I couldn't help but notice a cute girl walk into the crowd, as she slowly wandered I kept looking around to see if anyone was with her. Her features immediately reminded me of a younger Angelina Jolie... perhaps Burn from the classic cult hit Hackers. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she walked up right behind me and stood. At this moment I could I only do one thing. I proceeded to approach her and then made a strange curve towards the lemonade. I'm so smooth that a porcupine would find me prickly. I returned with my lemonade in hand and I slowly sipped it. It was warm and a little too sweet. I noticed the girl made her move towards the lemonade and retreated back into the crowd, this time a little further back. I wanted to go say hi but I was extremely nervous. Also I thought, would she have a boyfriend that might show up and interrupt whatever chemistry might be there. I over-analyze everything so of course there are a million scenarios playing out in my head. Finally, I decided to shut off my brain and I let the black pavement slide me like a chess piece into place. I made a joke about the Paul Newman's finest lemonade and away we went.

The journey was fun and it was nice to laugh and smile with someone so random. We talked for little bit until it was time for the reading. We sat on the hard pavement as the speakers pulsed the humorous written word of Mr. Sedaris. After the reading it was time for the official book signing. We both had a long wait but mine was going to be much longer. The time flew by as we discussed our many interests which happened to be very similar. We talked for hours until she had to go get her book signed. It was already 10:30 p.m. and I hadn't eaten since lunch. This was going to take forever because David Sedaris apparently loves to talk to everyone for a really long time. I kept peeking at my watch and we still had a good couple of hours left to go. I was able to get the girls information so Nick and I decided to split. My definition of the term split is to run back to the car in flip flops while trying not to fall face first into the gritty pavement below. Nick and I finished the night with Joe's pizza. She was on my mind and it felt good to me. It made sense that bars have yet to seem fruitful in distributing such like minded candidates. However, a book signing is a whole different ball game. It might seem obvious to most but it's not easy when you're in my shoes. I didn't get to meet Mr. Sedaris but I feel like I got to meet someone a lot more interesting.

Here is an essay to give you an idea of his writing style if you've never heard of him.

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