I started receiving messages from Crystal again on myspace. We started talking again and now that I was divorced I felt there was no longer any pressure to hide my thoughts or feelings. Again, we fell back into our comfort zone. We talked for hours and texted back and forth all day long. We were flirtatious and fun with each other. I always thought to myself, I've turned off my heart and I won't get hurt again. We'll see if that holds true... this will be a good test for me.
We decided to meet for coffee and catch up on things. As soon as I pulled up to the Starbucks I had butterflies. I was that boy again wondering if this cute girl would like me. I walked in and spotted her on her computer right away. I was floored. She looked just as stunning today as she did back in high school. That's when it hit me like a train, she's back. I sat down and we started to talk just like old times. The chemistry was unexplainable and she shined of a bright light that would have the sun squint. We talked until she needed to go to her hair appointment and we talked there. We walked out to my car and talked there. It was electric and I knew what she was searching for... a kiss. I've always noticed that we've had similar sized lips, a random thought I know. That's when things got heavy. I was reminded why I was happy and hurting all at the same time. She invited me to come hang out at her "bachelorette party" in Power and Light that Saturday. She was getting married the following Friday and it bothered me. This is the point when my friends tell me not to do it but because I listen to my heart, I do it anyway. She probed me with questions about marriage. I began to notice she was having the same concerns and thoughts as me at that time right before my wedding. I wanted to yell, "it's a mistake!" but I couldn't... maybe it was because I wanted her too badly. Maybe I would say it out of spite... I proceeded to just give advice and no more.
The next two days we talked and texted constantly. We couldn't get each other out of our minds. Saturday night came and I ventured down to the Power and Light District. I finally met up with Crystal and her friends. Some of them I had not seen since high school. It became clear I needed to spice this party up so I did my best to participate. I got drinks for the girls and I was apart of a few checklist items which was fun. I made sure the future bride had a steady stream of drinks and shots going the whole time. After waiting in line at Mosaic for way to long it looked like we needed to move the party downstairs. By now some of the party was ready to leave after having way to much to drink before hitting P & L. Some of us finally made our way to the fountain in the center of the Live block. As the drinks kept flowing the bachelorette got more friendly. At one point we had a very nice "I missed you" kiss. It was all innocent and fun until certain feelings started to surface. Feelings that had been buried away for a awhile now. Crystal and I had made plans to talk the next day so I kept the focus on keeping her safe and having a good time. The majority of her friends peeled off throughout the night until it was just me and one other left. We left the Power and Light with me carrying her to her friends truck. When I put her in the back of the truck I looked into her eyes and I knew I made a big mistake. I'd done it again. I'd felt hope.
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