Wednesday, July 16, 2008

If You Had One Question To Ask, What Would It Be?

I know some people are expecting part II, and you will get it. However, this is my blog and therefore I get to write whatever I want whenever I want. I felt like writing about the subject called love.

Most people if asked, if you could have one question answered above all others what would it be? That question for most would be... Is there a god or is there life after death? To me I've always found that that would be the last question I'd ask. I care about what I do with my time here on earth and if something happens after that... I believe my positive energy will find its way to a happier place. Do I stare at the stars as one big giant puzzle, yes. I stare so much so that my heart hurts and I have a brief period of what I can only describe as vertigo. I sometimes feel that if there is a god... we just might be his/hers/its hardest puzzle. Why? Because of the real question:

What is love?

Love has been described as the neural equivalent of cocaine addiction—that our brain stimulates certain parts of itself with chemicals and gives us a false sense of euphoria. The euphoric state is to help us look past certain flaws in a long term mate for the short term so that we get excitable and look to reproduce. This is what we describe as the honeymoon phase. In short our bodies fool us with a false sense of happiness so we can fulfill our destiny by producing offspring. Bummer... if you look at it that way.

Love? What the hell is it? Perhaps it's the universes way of helping us find that special someone that can help us heal our wounds. Does certain forces outside our control move us like pawns in order to find that someone that can understand us in ways no other could?

Perhaps... we are like pebbles in a stream bumping into each other until we nest into a groove that causes us to be stationary. Over and over again I've thought I've found love but I lie to myself too easily. Sometimes that which we want so badly can cause us to be blind to the truth that it isn't there. I was comfortable in my marriage and I had everything. I was free to be pleasured anytime I wanted, I was cared for and I was loved. I still wasn't happy. Why? I wasn't in love. It took me eight years to understand that my eyes were bigger. I see the world in a way I wish I could give to others, like some black rimmed antique pair of glasses. Those that are closest to me understand this. I have the uncanny knack of listening, learning and just loving and it draws people to me. It pushes those that don't understand it to bullying me. I feel pity for them. All you have to do is love and you'll be rewarded in ways you can't even imagine.

But what is love and why haven't I found it? I'll find it when my pebble stops moving... it might never stop but I have a feeling it will. It'll stop for someone that has big eyes, someone that shares their love openly without judging or ridiculing. It'll stop for someone who is amazed everyday that they are alive and notices the sun beating on their skin and the smell of flowers in the air. It'll stop for an optimist and a dreamer, someone with an imagination to lead and a heart to follow.

Lastly, what is love? Love is the biggest mystery us as a species will always be trying to find the answer to. Love is looking into his or her eyes ten, twenty, thirty years down the life line and knowing that the happiest day of your life is ten, twenty, thirty years later when you have to say goodbye and your last wish before you pass on is to look into your loves eyes one more time.

1 comment:

Topekan said...

Again, I like the way you think. Good post here.