A Friend Once Told Me

If someone is your friend and they care about you, then they will see you at your best and at your worst. It is when they see you at your worst, that their opinion of you should not falter. 

At our worst...

The people that matter... 

The people that care... 

Embrace vulnerabilities and flaws without judgement.

Over the last couple years I've changed more than any other time in my life. It's not because of anyone or anything, it's because I put important goals for myself aside in order to do what everyone else (including myself) believed was right. I fell into unhappiness. I wanted to travel all over the world, I wanted to be a designer in New York or Chicago, I wanted to write a book. I'm 28 and I've made a promise to myself that I'm going to do these things. Wanted is now a want and I feel alive again.

The single life has its bumps and bruises. I've had no regrets going down this path. However, I've never been alone. These can be two conflicting feelings that battle in my heart and head everyday. I'm relishing trying to figure myself out and reconnect with myself, but another part of me keeps saying it's scary to be out of a relationship. I've made mistakes and shown my vulnerability. I've pulled back and reached out. Being myself and just having fun again is what I truly need. Most recently I went out and partied with some coworkers and drank too much. Alcohol has never been my friend and my issues with it have been well documented. I had done very well, I hadn't drink like that since October of 2006 (right after my wedding). I was originally going to go to McFadden's with some buddies but they took off without me. I instead went to a piano bar and proceeded to let everyone know what was going on with me (that felt really good). Normally after a night like that I'm usually full of regret and embarrassed. What was weird is I didn't care what other people thought, I still don't. There was one thing I regretted about that night and that was at one point towards the end I became extremely selfish. That's not me or who I am. I have a wild weekend ahead of me and I'm looking forward to it. Thanks to the other night I discovered something about myself and that is what I need to keep doing.