Is it an Intermission?

I was driving back home for what might be the last time. As I was heading South on I-35 at 10:30 p.m. I looked to the East towards Kansas City. Kansas City looked cold and barren like some desolate utopian society that just drink the punch. This is the feeling in my heart? I couldn't help but feel K.C. was giving me a cold shoulder, that I had left it when I knew I shouldn't have. K.C. felt like some jilted lover who can no longer look past my faults and instead blames me for them. Those emotions ran deep in the woman to the right of me. We didn't speak during the 35 minute drive home. We didn't have to say a word and yet we understood each other perfectly. I was going home to pack... I was going to home to leave it... indefinitely... 

I've never been alone, ever, yet I feel I need to be. This is not easy like some science experiment into bachelorhood. This is deeper, I will hurt, I will be human and I will cry. This is me trying to figure out where I went wrong, did I move to fast into family life without a time frame or plan? Did I commit to someone I knew in the back of my head would always be there for me, but would never be able to provide me with the things I need? Did I feel like I owed it to her? Was I trying to not be the bad guy, and yet, became that anyway? I'm so nauseated and I can't eat. Work is the last thing on my mind and I haven't been able to play games either. This is a wake up call, I'm sitting in the middle of the road trying to decide if I need to make an u-turn. I could use a friend right now, but maybe I don't deserve one? My stuff is packed and ready to go. 

Kansas City... I coming back for a little while, treat me good. 

I need a friend.