His Hands (part I)

This two part post was hard to write, but I needed to write it.

My grandpa on my dad’s side can only be described as a bear of a man. While my dad and his brother took on the traits of my grandma, one being the short gene, their sister got the big gene. He was a mountain of a man but had an even larger heart. When I was growing up I remembered his hands. His hands were rough probably do to all the years working cattle, riding horses, and working at the refinery in El Dorado, Kansas. Grandpa’s hands were strong and muscular; he spent lots of years laying railroad tracks. This is probably why he overcompensated when he went to hug or hold you. He could comfort you like no other when he wrapped you in those big hands. You felt safe. He was papa bear, a big man, bigger heart, and the biggest paws you’d ever see.

I went down to El Dorado this weekend in order to visit my family and my college buddy. I was actually looking forward to seeing my buddy’s new baby the most. Saturday night I went over to Scott’s house and held their newborn (he was premature and so very tiny) and I fed little Collin a bottle of milk. That would be the first time I’ve ever fed a baby a bottle of milk. And for the first time in my life I felt comfortable about it. I really enjoyed it! His baby is so cute too. Collin’s last name is Light so I’ve nicknamed him “Natural” or “Natty” for short. Scott once danced on a strip clubs stage naked and brought weed to class so I have a few stories for Collin when he gets older.


I stayed over at their place until about 11:00 pm and decided to head back to Cassidy from Wichita which is a good forty-five minute drive. The moon was covered by clouds, which made it pitch black outside. The winds were up as well and whispers of tornado like weather were tuning in from the car radio. Tall grass lined the highway and the winds pushed it in giving it the look that the ground was clawing at your tires as you sped by in the black night. It all created an eerie feeling and that’s when thoughts of my papa bear creeped back into my mind. I loved him very much but the last few years of his life were the toughest.