She's way to smart for me my mom says, it was a joke but it still cuts like a knife. And she's right! What would a full ride scholar to Purdue with a degree in Neuroscience want with me? She's way out of my league right? She won a two year job at one of the most prestigious medical research facilities in the country. That's really fucking impressive right? I come from a long genetic line of crazy. She's from good stock, the kind that has a mom in the Kansas legislature and a father who does stellar photography. Why did she even talk to me? What could this amazingly beautiful and extremely sharp girl want from me? I've been beating myself up about this for the past couple of days and really the only thing that scares me is... what if she feels the same way I do. What if she doesn't like me.
Her eyes are the largest deepest pools of green you've ever seen and they mesmerize me.
We've been on a couple of dates and our interests are very similar. The attraction seems to be there as well. There just seems to be some impending doom that feels like... maybe I got in over my head. I've never dated someone like this before and it shatters my mind into a million scenarios. What the hell do I do? I think the only thing I can do is shut my brain off and enjoy her company. She intimidates me in ways I've never been intimidated by someone before and that fascinates me. I'm so nervous. What if she doesn't like me?
She makes me laugh, she makes me feel.
What if?
4 comments:
I have a feeling that you're selling yourself extremely short. I felt the same way when I started dating my husband (his degree is in molecular biosciences, way over my head). You're such a compassionate guy, and believe it or not, that's what a lot of intellectual women look for in a man. Most of them just need an endless amount of meaningful conversations backed with compassion.
That's what i've tended to notice. She seems to really enjoy my company when I'm just being myself which i have no problem doing. She kinda' mentioned that some guys she's dated before try hard to be what they think she's looking for. She wasn't real fond of that.
Yeah, I could see that. My biggest pet-peeve is when someone fakes who they are. It doesn't matter if they're doing it to try to please me or if they're doing it to try to please themselves. It still bugs the hell out of me. I mean, what's the purpose of living if you're trying to live as someone else. It's all too complex for my liking, I guess. lol
(Oh, I started my own blog, just in case you get confused by who's posting.)
Your mom's right.
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